Women UK look at divorce, is it good or bad for your health? Of course statistics carried out shows that the happiest are people in a loving relationship followed by yes you guessed it, single people with those in a bad relationship scoring the lowest in the happy factor. So Ladies if you are in a bad relationship, you are already one step closer to happiness by being single!!!
Even if you don’t spend very long on your own after a split, divorce has been shown to reduce life expectancy by as much as three years, although men seem to be more badly affected. Women UK looks at the reasoning behind this….
Stress clearly plays a part, but single people (particularly men!) are more likely to take part in high-risk pastimes — drinking, smoking, sexual promiscuity, even driving fast cars.
One very large study across 16 countries showed that for divorced men, the risk of death is ten times greater than for a married man the same age.
But happens when we do get divorced? What are some advantages?
Post-traumatic growth is a relatively new concept whereby people experience personal growth in the context of pain and loss. Many tend to ‘work’ on themselves through self help books, groups or self improvement
You might have heard people describing deciding to “live life to the full” after an illness or the death of a loved one. Divorce has been shown to be one of the most painful experiences and many people also report changing how they live their life.
According to the theory, there are 5 areas of growth:
Relating to others – having a new found empathy and compassion for others while judgeing less
You will often hear divorcees say that this experience made them a better person.
This is because you may become better at empathising with the pain and suffering of others having gone through it yourself and so a kinder understanding.
Furthermore, you will also have thought about what went wrong in your marriage and how you may have contributed and so you will do things differently in your next relationship.
New possibilities and experiences
New freedom will allow you to do a whole range of things and meet a lot of new people. You might really appreciate this opportunity to lead a life more suited to you. You may open up your circles of friends and experiences.
Once you have got through this, you will feel you can face anything. Some people who may have been bossed around in their relationship might decide to be more assertive in expressing their own views and desires.
You may also no longer be so afraid of being alone if you can embrace your single life and realise that when you live the single life properly, it is more enjoyable than being in a bad couple.
Your outlook might change in a more spiritual way. Not necessarily by being religious but by having a more accepting philosophy of life. For example, you might realise that you cannot change people and or control certain situations and so are far more relaxed, or you will appreciate things such as personal freedom more. Hence comes a sense of calm and serenity into your life
Deeper appreciation of the ups and downs of life
Seeing a relationship go from good to bad can make you realise that the good moments must be treasured as they might not last. On the flip side, the bad times will also pass.
If you are going through a divorce or a break up in your relationship, keep going, the best is yet to come…….